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What To Do and Not Do When You Go To Disney

Written by Kelli Nelson
The Imperfect Mom’s Guide: What To Do When You Go To Disney World

Disney World Minnie MouxeDo take your young daughter shopping for her princess dress immediately. You’ll have a lot less laundry when you get home. And you’ll get to sit down on a full bus when the driver announces, “Everyone, be on your best royal behavior… we have a Disney Princess on board” and your daughter shouts, “That’s me!”

Do pack an umbrella. Believe it or not, it really does rain in Florida. Do cover the stroller when you leave it in one of the many “parking areas.” Otherwise, you’ll be carrying your whining child around while waiting for the seat to dry.

Do purchase a Disney dining plan when you make your reservations. Your teen son will keep track of the number of meals and snacks available. You’ll be updated hourly.

Do pay attention when a bird swoops in to make a hit and run on your stroller. Particularly if your child is in the stroller eating a cookie. Always carry extras.

What Not To Do When You Go To Disney World

Do not book a single “family” room. You’ll try to convince yourself it’s a great bonding experience. It’s not. Your young child’s voice will be a great deal louder than usual. Your teen will decorate the room with underwear, socks, electronics, and wet towels. No matter what the brochure says, the bathroom is too small to share. And you will not sleep because your husband and one or more of your kids will engage in snoring competitions.

Do not say fuck at Magic Kingdom. The circumstance does not matter. Even if you’re soaked in sweat because you’re enduring the Florida humidity while waiting curbside for the big parade, other perspiring people are pushing and shoving you, and your sweaty kids are suddenly at their worst. Don’t let it slip. If other moms can’t hear it, they will still read your lips and pretend to be offended. You’ll instantly be cast out as “that” mom.

The large vacant area behind Cinderella’s castle after the fireworks is vacant for a reason. Do not make the mistake in thinking the crowd is stupid and you’re going to be first to enter the castle for dinner. And definitely do not push your child’s stroller at warp speed, in the dark, into this area. It has been roped off for your safety and you could potentially decapitate your child.

Do not pose for photos with the princesses. You will look fat. And old.

See my daughter’s All Things Princess Disney photos.

Published on February 20, 2012 · 13 Comments · Filed Under: Most Popular, Motherhood Tagged With: 4 Letter Words, Children, Disney, Imperfectionism, Unconditional Love
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  • Anthony

    Sounds like pretty solid advice! You really only booked one room for the entire family? We learned that one the hard way.
    At times the word, Fuck is the only appropriate and measurable way to respond. I don’t think those other moms are looking at you as, “that mom,” but rather they are looking at you with envy because you had the balls ( or ovaries ) to actually say it. I can see not saying it out loud in front of the kids who will then repeat it when Grandma is around ( I made that mistake….once ) but to mouth it when appropriate? Bully for you. Who cares what those other fake, soccer mom wannabes think?

    Enjoy the rest of your trip! I think they also have babysitters down there if I remember correctly. Maybe you and your husband could have some, “alone” time?

    • http://sweetnessoflife.com Kelli

      You crack me up, Anthony! I’m so glad to have you here. And yep, booked just one room… lesson learned!

      • Anthony

        Glad I found this site too! Helps me to understand my wife a little bit more and if I can give some insight or lack of insight to your husbands and our incredible logical way of thinking, then that only helps! :)

  • Jeanna

    “And definitely do not push your child’s stroller at warp speed, in the dark, into this area. It has been roped off for your safety and you could potentially decapitate your child.”

    Literally LOL at this. When my oldest was a baby we were shopping at the mall. His car seat was attached to his stroller and I guess I forgot where the exit was because I pushed him straight into a plate glass window. (Honestly who keeps windows that clean.) The girls in the store were two teenagers and were appalled at the fact that my friend and I thought this was hysterical.

    • http://sweetnessoflife.com Kelli

      I felt so bad at the time. The witnesses said I stopped just short of taking my daughter’s nose off. Thank you for sharing your plate glass experience. It’s nice to laugh in good company!

  • http://www.notesfromthesecondhalf.com Barbara L

    As an Orlando resident, and a frequent visitor to the theme parks, I would add that the umbrella would mostly be for shade or a light rain. You should always bring ponchos for the hard rain and/or storms. We frequently have short storms. This is the lightening capital of the U.S. and that is not just a tag line. Umbrellas can be deadly when mixed with lightening. Ponchos are much better. And ponchos bought at home and brought to the parks are way cheaper and usually better quality.

    • http://sweetnessoflife.com Kelli

      Wow, that’s good to know for the next trip to FL. We seemed to experience the hard, short rains. Thanks, Barbara!

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  • http://www.sallydonovan.net Sally Donovan

    We are planning a trip to Florida this summer from the UK.

    Plastic ponchos? What kind of people are you?

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