Quit Worrying Over Old Nikes

Sweetness of Life & Motherhood © Martine de LunaGuest author Martine de Luna is work-at-home mom, and owner of the award-winning blog, Dainty Mom, a tips and inspiration blog for work-at-home moms. Born in the sunny Philippine islands, raised in Hong Kong and Singapore, Martine fell in love with writing in her years in the British school system. She lives in Manila with her hubby, Ton, and son, Vito Sebastian.

Quit Worrying Over Old NikesSometimes, there’s a temptation for me to be “superwoman” for my family; to try and be the savior or something to that effect. I suppose it’s the perfectionist in me. I like things to be a certain way, and when they’re not going my way, I get frazzled. Times likes these – such as the anecdote I’m about to share – I always get pulled up to higher ground, by none other than my husband. He keeps me grounded, reminding me that things don’t always have to be perfect, as long as life is good.

It’s amazing how many things can latch on to a train of thought. Especially when those things are old Nikes.

A few days ago, as I was getting ready to leave for a meeting with a client, I slipped out of the room quietly so as not to wake my husband. He looked so tired out, and the room was still cool from the airconditioning, so I thought it best to leave him in slumber.

While putting on my step-ins (I’ve given up on high heels since becoming a mom. OK, I can deal with 3-inch pumps, but that’s it!), I noticed hubby’s worn out Nike’s beside mine. I remember that he slipped on them a few days before because the soles had worn out, and he hadn’t had the chance to buy a new pair yet.

Looking at the faded trainers, I wondered what I could do, but knew I couldn’t do much. I couldn’t afford to buy a brand new pair, not anytime soon. Expenses for the groceries, the house, the car payment, and our son’s needs were our priority these days.

I felt rather bad as I mused about the shoes.

When was the last time he treated himself?, I thought. Seeing my line up of newly-bought clothes in the closet – which I’d purchased because I needed some decent things for client meetings – made the feeling even worse. I was starting to feel guilty, wondering if he was deferring the purchase of new shoes because he had much to sacrifice for the sake of me and our son.

And the feeling got worse as I ambled on through the day’s work.

That night, I burst into tears – a rarity for practical, ‘ol me.

“What’s wrong, babe? Tell me,” he said.

Silence. I felt too ashamed to say anything.

It wasn’t until he had hugged me, kissed me and cuddled me, and comforted me with several “It’s OKs” that I finally let the weight of the days thoughts fall. I told him how I felt, how lousy I was feeling about his worn-out shoes, how maybe I was on the receiving end too much.

He smiled: that semi-sad, semi-hopeful look I have studied well these last three-going-four years of marriage. He hugged me again, and assured me that I needn’t worry. New shoes were the least of his concerns these days, he said. All he wanted was to make sure I and our son had everything we needed. And with that, he wiped away the rest of my tears.

I have a wonderful husband. I am assured of this, that even if the time comes when we’ll both need replacement shoes, he will make a way – even if it means me getting a pair first, not him. It’s just an act of love that assures me of this: that in my husband’s love, I never need find a reason to worry.

  • http://www.mombloggerbuzz.com Lisa Ladrido

    He sounds like a great husband! You are so fortunate and blessed. Men are more practical thinking though, my husband always says to me, why do you have so many shoes, you only have 2 feet! My hubby was so sweet, he started to see that I have been so frustrated using my old computer, I have been tempted to use it as a frisbee for months! He surprised me the other day with a new one! Thanks for a great post!

    • http://daintymom.com Martine | Work at Home Mom Writer

      Hi, Lisa! My husband says the same about MY shoes, hahaha. WOW — new computer! I can relate with that too, because my hubby insists he’s fine with his old laptop that often dies out, while I just got a new one a few months ago. Haha. He finally admitted he needed a new one, and will be doing so in a few weeks.

      Thanks for commenting. Super appreciate it. :)

      • Becca

        I can relate to your story. My hubby is a simple man like yours. It doesn’t matter on him if some of
        his things needs a replacement. He is God fearing and very responsible man.

  • http://gojackiego.com Jackie Go

    I’ve always admired dads/husbands who always put their family first. I for one am guilty whenever I buy something for myself & daughter so in return I try to buy some for my husband but like yours, he’d rather not receive anything materialistic but would rather come home to a house knowing that his family is living a comfortable life, now I am more appreciative of him & our family.

    • http://www.cruisinmommyhood.com Belle Delos Reyes

      Exactly how I feel about my husband. But sometimes, I forget to let him know how much I appreciate his sacrifices for the family. This touched my heart. Thanks for sharing, Martine and Kelli!

      • http://daintymom.com Martine | Work at Home Mom Writer

        Thanks, Belle!

        • http://bibsandbaubles.com Cam | Bibs & Baubles

          He sounds like a wonderful guy. Isn’t that a great feeling to know that the needs of his family comes before his own?! Just wonderful!

          • http://daintymom.com Martine | Work at Home Mom Writer

            Thanks, Cam! Yes, it is a great feeling. Even though, at times, we disagree on how he folds the clothes or makes a mess in the wardrobe (That’s another blog post, haha), the important thing is that, in the bigger picture, he really puts me and my son before anything else.

    • http://daintymom.com Martine | Work at Home Mom Writer

      Hi, Jackie — it was nice meeting you last week. Thanks for commenting here, truly appreciate it. And yes, I can relate with that kind of guilt you mentioned!

  • http://www.touringkitty.wordpress.com em alcantara

    I am amazed by how God creates families. I came from a happy one. I am married to a simple one. And I’m trying to raise a loving and God-centered one.

    Martine, yours is a family filled with so much simplicity and happiness. I pray for the best!

    Kelli, nice blog you got here! I like your layout.

    • http://daintymom.com Martine | Work at Home Mom Writer

      Thanks for sharing, Em, and for leaving a comment. We are indeed blessed, even if like isn’t ideal or perfect or as we’d like it. Simplicity is so wanting in many families today, I think it’s time we got back to just being happy about the simple things we take for granted. :)

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