Pushover No More Again

Pushover No More Again I felt compelled to republish Pushover No More after spending time around a few “pushers” this past week. Enjoy!

When I was young, you could simply look at me and I might cry. I was afraid of my parents, uncles, aunts, the mailman, teachers, professors. It’s amazing how much we change when we become parents.

Change is good. I used to enjoy running all over town on errand day. Now, I appreciate the convenience of completing errands at one location. It makes life easier when you have a 3 year-old that goes everywhere you go.

Last week, when completing our routine at the local grocery slash pharmacy slash bank slash Starbucks, my errand partner was in a cranky mood. The demand, as it’s called in my home, had been rearing its ugly head all morning long. By the time we’d hit the deli, bakery and produce, we were close to meltdown mode. “Just one last, quick stop before we checkout and go home,” I said, as I threaded little legs back though the holes of the shopping cart’s seat again.

When we reached the pharmacy, there was just one person ahead of us. I was thanking God for that while prying little arms from my neck when another woman joined the line. Almost immediately, this woman leaned into me from behind and indicated that neither my cart nor my child belonged in this line.

Oh. No. She. Didn’t.

Without any thought, I replied to this woman in a way that would have been considered uncharacteristic of me in the past. You see, when I mentioned meltdown mode, I was talking about mine. I won’t quote my response, and I won’t disclose which four-letter words may have been included, but I will say this—I’m almost certain this particular woman will never advise a mother of a cranky, clingy 3 year-old that way again.

My daughter fell asleep on the drive home (another brief God-thanking session) so I had a rare opportunity to reflect.  Driving along, I realized I must look like an idiot laughing to myself out loud. Truth be told, it was more like roaring with laughter. I felt like a proud lioness who had just protected her cub from a predator.

It really is amazing how we change when we become parents. Mind you, I have an almost 17 year-old so my change happened a long time ago.

I now recognize my primal transformation to lioness. To mom. Or bitch, as I’ve heard it said a time or two. But most certainly, I’m a pushover no more.

Have you ever been a pushover? Did you experience a notable transition, one way or the other, after becoming a parent?

  • http://www.rookiemumymb.blogspot.com Lisa

    Wow, I can be a complete pushover! Last week I was trying to parallel park my friends huge minivan for her on a busy street. She had tried and failed so I was helping her. She was out on the street and a woman with her yoga mat slung over her shoulder yelled “who gave you your license ? They teach parallel parking in drivers ed!!” To which my friend yelled “Oh Thank you!! that was extremely helpful! I hope you find your zen place today you stupid…blankety blank blank.!” I had never heard my friend the Kindergarten teacher loose it before and was in hysterics that I “gently” bumped the car behind me. What a day!

    • http://sweetnessoflife.com Kelli

      Hi Lisa, I love your story. It’s great to find others without the parallel parking gene. You and your friend sound like a lot of fun. And I adore how you “gently” bumped the car behind you! ;) Thanks for stopping by… I hope you’ll come back soon!

  • http://www.mama-writes.com Anna

    I love your stories, and they resonate so much with me as I, like you have a 3-year-old. I don’t have a teen, though, but we share lots of similarities! I am also definitely not the typical ordinary mom, and I used to work for a large corporation as well before I had Emma.
    Anyway, I enjoy reading your posts and I am going to be a regular visitor for sure!
    Thanks for the #FF mention on Twitter by the way! I certainly appreciate it, especially now that I am just starting with the blog and trying to get followers!
    All the best,

    • http://sweetnessoflife.com Kelli

      Hi Anna! Thanks for reading my stories. So glad you like. I checked out your blog and I think you’re right, we do share a lot of similarities. I’m still fairly new to blogging myself. Anything I can do to help, let me know!

  • http://about.me/efloraross Elizabeth Flora Ross

    Oh, boy! I probably would have ripped that woman a new one. What the heck?! I’m convinced people who behave that way either have never had children, or are in a state of dementia and don’t remember what it is like. Either way, there is no call for being that way. Period. I totally understand your reaction.

    Stopping by from The Mom Pledge Blog Hop! :)

    • http://sweetnessoflife.com Kelli

      Mommy bloggers: picking off the insensitive, dementia-types one person at a time. ;)
      So glad you stopped by! I’m a fan of The Writer Revived.

  • http://gametrender.net Duwain Marnitz

    I followed your link from Momswith apps, thinking to find apps that I could help promote. Instead I found a very poignant website that left me with some very positive feelings. Thankyou

    • http://sweetnessoflife.com Kelli

      What a wonderful comment to receive. Thank you, Duwain! I’m not sure how I’m linked from momswithapps but I’m so glad you found my site and had a positive experience. Please feel free to recommend to others you might think interested. :)

  • http://mommetime.me/ Amy

    I prefer lioness…

    I have definitely experienced times in my life that I was a pushover but, having kids makes me think more before I react. I believe that we are all impacted by the way others act and sometimes there are certain situations that I want my kids to know are unacceptable.

    I was at the kids play section of the bookstore the other day and this kid was literally bullying another kid and the kid getting bullied the Mom just sat there watching (I was wondering what she was thinking) and the Mother of the kid bullying started the baby talking tone telling to stop (over, and over and over)…it was making me so uncomfortable. The bully actually twisted the other ones arm until the toy dropped…so the Mom grabs her kid and leaves — never saying anything.

    The kid starts after My child’s toy, goes to take it and the Mom starts her baby talking and he proceeds to take it from my daughter…UM, I don’t think so!

    Needless, to say, a Mom and kid left but it wasn’t me and mine…I never ever want my kids to think that type of treatment/behavior is okay. I think what you did needs to be done more often…it seem like more and more people are becoming really rude and totally lacking in regards for others. Maybe its just stress but good for you taking up for yourself!

    • http://sweetnessoflife.com Kelli

      Hi, Amy! I’m so glad you shared your story. I would have done the same as you. Bullying is intolerable for me. I’m quite sensitive to the issue because my son went through a very difficult time in his junior high years because of bullying. It’s been a few years but I still remember the look on the bully mom’s face after I (in no uncertain terms) told her she was to NEVER address my son directly again or she’d have a big problem on her hands (me). She had the nerve to tell my son his own actions brought the bullying onto himself. It was BS. He was a tiny, timid boy at that time. Not perfect. But he didn’t deserve to be bullied. This transpired at school during a meeting with the principal (who was worthless and has since been fired). Then, the bully kid told other kids that I attacked him mom. The bully family lived very close at the time. I knocked on her door and put the kibosh on the attack rumors. ;) And now my son gets the last laugh. He’s turned into a 6’3″ confident young man who walks the high school halls with awesome pride in himself. Stop by again soon!

      • http://mommetime.me/ Amy

        I am so glad that I stopped by…I’m going to take your button with me — love your blog; your sharing is so open and honest.

        That is great for your son; I’m sure your actions spoke volumes to him. I think that you showed him by your actions that he is of value…thank goodness he is a self-confident person. I really feel for the kids that are not so fortunate. I am the same way…zero tolerance for bullying and until my kids are mentally, emotionally and physically able to handle it on their own I will intervene. My oldest was once trapped on a slide by an older kid and my youngest daughter was able to get down and get me. I went flying up that slide…I am shocked that I got up and down that slide (OMG-I’m old :))…I confronted the parent of that child the dad just stood there starring at me like I was crazy.

        I will definitely come back for a visit…

        • http://sweetnessoflife.com Kelli

          You rock, Amy!

  • http://www.mommysmomments.wordpress.com TJ Willard

    I LOVE THIS!! As someone who was tormented while growing I am already flexing my Mommy Muscles to ensure that it doesn’t happen to my little girls … I have NO tolerance for Bullying whether the Bullies are adults or kids.
    The comments above indicate that we could definitly form a posse – something similar to the A-team, but a better car, endless supply of coffee and no Mr. T. We could make ourselves available to the pushovers of the world, offer training courses , and handout doses of humility to the ignorant of the world (it is my belief that ignorant people don’t realize they ARE ignorant, and therefore it is my gift to them to let them know).

    Loved the story!!! :)


    • http://sweetnessoflife.com Kelli

      Hi Tj! Thanks for stopping in and reading (and loving). I’m totally enjoying your A-team idea. It’s great to find so man like-minded mommies. Love your “gift,” too! ;)

  • Pingback: 10 Random Lessons Learned in 2011 | Sweetness of Life & Motherhood()

  • Pingback: Sweetness of Life & Motherhood: 10 Random Lessons Learned in 2011()

  • Pingback: From Pushover to Lioness | What The Flicka?()